the obligatory Raya post

ok, so everyone's writing about their wonderful Raya. Salam Aidilfitri all.

well that came with as much verve and va va voom as a cardboad. *shakes herself out of stupor* heh. well, had a one-week break the week before Raya (beautiful thing about a different school calendar), and a comatose Acer Aspire at home, hence no updates.

Ilhan fell sick with viral fever on eve of Deepavali, and it came with the whole works - 39 deg fever, wracking cough (trust me, it's heartbreaking to see a 2-yr old bend double coughing out stubborn phlegm. he almost seem asthmatic), runny nose, vomiting, diarrhoea. he hasn't been eating since then - and today's Day 6. i kid you not. he has not eaten a morsel of solid food for like 5 days. i bathe him and it breaks my heart to see his bones the 2 tulang belikat) jutting out like a famished kid.

and when he's sick he's clingy and whiny and i feel so sorry for him. Hari Raya pertama we had kenduri tahlil at FIL's side of the family, and everyone said he looked thin, "Dia rindu bapak dia tu..kesian dia.." *dalam hati* ==> Memang betul, cik..bukan dia je yang rindu bapak dia, saya pun....boo hooo hoooo.

the husband had a practical test on Aidilfitri eve and a mid-term at 1pm on Aidilfitri itself. oh alangkah sedihnya bila takbir bergema.

and of course, when Ilhan falls sick, i do too. sebab kita "berpijak di tanah yang sama, bernafas udara yang sama" to quote Gusti Putri Raden Adjeng Retno Dumilah aka Puteri Gunung Ledang.

By the way, don't you think the PGL Musical is way overpriced? i think it is. ridiculously. way too much money to pay to watch a bunch of ladies berkemban.

where was i? right. sick. now i down with flu too, tetapi tepaksa gagahkan diri back to school today after 2 days of MC (for Ilhan, not me) cos the sec 3HMLs are will be taking their 'O' ML paper on monday, and i need to give that extra kick on their back (to put it very mildly).

tu lah dia cerita Raya saya. alhamdullillah Ilhan looks better yesterday evening, and i hope Mr Bad Virus disappears by today.

forgive the entry. Salam Aidilfiri semua. alhamdullillah for Ramadhan.

My Sister's Keeper

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Books
Genre:	Other
Author:	Jodi Picoult

First saw this book at perth Borders in june, but hard to browse through books when you have a stroller holding a cranky toddler at hand. But Nani read my mind and got it as a very belated birthday gift (thanks lah-ling...will pass it yo you to read soon!)

I was drawn by the cover. At first i thought it was some chick-flick, but that's so far removed from the truth.

REVIEW BY ALLISON BLOCK

Most people spend their lives seeking to understand the purpose of their existence. Thirteen-year-old Anna Fitzgerald, the protagonist, has never for a moment questioned hers: she is the genetically perfect "match" brought into the world to keep her leukemia-stricken sister Kate alive. Physically and emotionally depleted from life in the shadow of her sibling's illness, the strong-willed Anna lashes back at the parents who conceived her out of desperation, not desire—she sues them for the medical rights to her own body.

Alternately narrated by each of its major characters, My Sister's Keeper revolves around Anna and the life-altering consequences of her very adult decision. As the novel begins, the courageous teenager enlists the legal assistance of Campbell Alexander—a relentless cynic known for suing God—who soon serves the subpoena that splinters the Fitzgerald family. Mother Sara, who gave up her law practice to render round-the-clock care to Kate, comes to her dying daughter's defense, while husband Brian sides with Anna.

With the trial date drawing near, and Kate on the verge of kidney failure, Anna teeters on an emotional tightrope. How can she reject the person who has defined her from day one? At the hospital, Anna climbs into Kate's bed and rests her head on her chest: "I didn't come to see Kate because it would make me feel better," she says. "I came because without her, it's hard to remember who I am."

Hope and heartbreak fill the pages of My Sister's Keeper, which Picoult describes as a sort of Sophie's Choice for the new millennium. "If you use one of your children to save the life of another," the author asks, "are you being a good mother . . . or a very bad one?" Blending science, philosophy, morality and ethics, this is a thought-provoking thriller that grips and won't let go.

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truly absorbing. i love this quote by Jesse, the pyromanic, delinquent and sadly neglected 18-yr old brother:

"Don't mess with the system, Anna," he says bitterly. "We've all got our scripts down pat. Kate plays the Martyr. I'm the Lost Cause. And you, you're the Peacekeeper."

i love the way each chapter is told from the point of view of different characters. you get under their skin, and see the whole issue from their points of view.

really. go read. be prepared for the ending though. don't try to sneak-peek. you'll hate yourself for it.

Hang Kebun Dengan Datuknya

Petang-petang Ilhan suka tolong atok kasi pokok-pokok minum air. Tapi atok kata Ilhan siram air banyak sangat sampai tersedak pokok tu. Mungkin nanti bila kita dah pindah Perth Ilhan boleh tolong ibu tanam dan jaga pokok dari benih.

Ilhan up and about

this one's at Zurina and Shidi's place near Mirrabooka.

some random photos of Ilhan Harith doing his usual stuff.

the truth is

Today marks the last ten night of Ramadhan. Magical nights. It sure felt that way those times long ago when I did qiyam. Doing it with your closest friends, with then Imam’s readings and du’a, somehow you get engulfed in this consuming sense of humility and shukur. And love. Love for the Creator and for mankind and feeling shukur for all He has given, and knowing He is these watching every step of your way.

 

I think this year, I have been given the privilege to do qiyam again. Ilhan’s turned 2 (3 days ago on 10^th October, to be exact. However I guess I’m not the typical camera-snapping blogging mum, and find much difficulty in expressing what I feel for him in public domain, hence it was a very personal family affair) and he sleeps through the night now, so I guess I could slip out and return before he awakes.

 

Truth is I miss B terribly. Very terribly. I feel sad thinking about him spending Ramadhan alone there, handling sahur and buka for himself. And making Nescafe for himself. Initially the thought of a slight liberation -- being able to go out with friends while Ilhan stays with his Nenek -- is cool, but then I realized, he is my best friend. And I want to go out, go JB, go al-ameen, go midnite movies, talk nonsense, with him. I miss him terribly.

 

And Ilhan. The first few months was quite sad. Like Aai said, the emotion of ‘missing’ is too big for a 20-mth old (then) and he doesn’t quite know how to verbalise/express it. So it comes out in the form of his crush for his Pak Ngah, the new male figure in the family. It was always Pak Ngah-this and Pak Ngah-that and “nak makan dengan Pak Ngah” or “nak dodok dengan Pak Ngah”. Worst – every time the Suhaimi Yusoff “Yuk Pergi Hong Kong” ad comes on, he’ll shout “Baba!”

 

He clams up every time anyone asks, “Ilhan, mana Baba?”

 

Staying with my parents’ now is great. Ilhan gets valuable and educational company (my mum’s a dedicated librarian, so she brings back lots of resources and talks and sings to him); his social and verbal skills seem to have grown exponentially these few months. My brother’s a nurse, and is a HUGE help with fevers and when Ilhan’s fingers/toes “bayayah” cos I squirm at the sight of blood. My dad teaches Ilhan about plants and watering and pruning with his mini-nursery outside. And aai…hmm…..ok so angah gives respite once in a while, right angah? Haha.

 

I’m so going to miss all these when I leave; this network of family support. But I also want to be with my husband and embark on the next phase of our lives. Very exciting, yet very scary phase. how do those of you who have done it, do it?

 

Alhamdullillah for Ramadhan.

 

The 2 boys in my life.

du'a of a fasting person

Once Musa (AS) asked Allah Taala:

O Allah ! you have granted me the honour and privilege of talking to you directly. Have you given this privilege to any other person?

Allah Taala replied, "O Musa during the last period I am going to send an ummat, who will be the Ummat of Mohammed (SAW) with dry lips , parched tongues, emaciated body with eyes sunken deep into their sockets, with livers dry and stomachs suffering the pangs of hunger- will call out to me (in dua) they will be much much closer to me than you O Musa!

"While you speak to me there are 70000 veils between you and me but at the time of iftaar there will not be a single veil between me and the fasting Ummati of Mohammed (SAW) O musa I have taken upon myself the responsibility that at the time of iftaar I will never refuse the dua of a fasting person!