hit by apathy

i used to be 'very involved' with the world.

i took active interest in 'issues' plaguing mankind. i used to be so angry at injustice. i used to outraged by things 'not right'.

but now? uhm...nothing.

i felt a twinge of guilt on monday morning. during assembly roger asked the kids how many of them know about the latest going-ons btw israel and palestine and only a miserable handful (literally a handful) put up their hands.

i belong to the majority, of course. after which i sought digestible bits of info to at least know enough. to feel blase again.

all these going-ons are happening so often and on such a senseless scale that it has had a dulling effect on me.

political struggles. bombings. death. destruction. masalah remaja melayu. masalah melayu. lazy kids. teenage angst. yesterday i talked to this 13-yr old being about her joining attending christian fellowship, and i realised this kid lacks islamic knowledge and is disillusioned at the lack of repectable and world-famous muslim role-models. and when i asked her it's fine to know about 'others' but you must make sure you know your own faith sufficiently to do comparison, she muttered "can't be bothered".

local or global *dare i say it?* i think i don't care anymore. (not that i don't do anything. i try to infuse values and spirituality in lessons, but ultimately she's her parents' responsibility and believe me, they are very pro-active and involved).

Man is his bestest enemy and what can you do to change that? the best i can do i doa for justice to prevail and hidayah for the misguided. i save my worries and energy for my close circle of trust and love and dear ones.

i'm not a superwoman and i don't want to save the world. i don't even like to discuss  'issues' cos it makes me angrier and there are no resolutions in sight.

tell me, am i a bad person?